Saturday 8 November 2014

The Christmas spirit in the sky.

At 2.30am I was awake and drowning in the business of my mind and the equally intense nagging of gnawing joints that had locked into themselves creating their finest, rigid, RA sculptures.

Aware that sleep and I had most definitely parted company for the night I distracted myself by watching the beauty of the moon as it cast its brilliant light against my stormy mind. The night sky was blue, the palest colour, as if the virgin had unhooked her cloak and smothered us in its scented fabric.  The surrounding clouds were icy-white, crackling in a murmur of incessant conversation. There I was, a tiny fragment, poised on my hunkers gazing at a canvas of my life; the stars and clouds mapping the journey so far, bright pockets of brilliance contrasting with the pits of moulded darkness where the light stole something but didn't quite shine. It was so apt it was surreal, I could press my fingers against the glass and caress moments of magic, or push the darkness beyond the glare of the moon that was stained to perfection.

We do that don't we. Push beyond the darkness because that's the best way, the only way. The moments of brilliance, the stars in the moonlit sky come in many guises; the son who is finally coming to a point in his weekly treatment for a potentially fatal genetic disease where there is hope of management of the illness, a daughter who continues to make me laugh and proud in equal measure, a grandson who continues to thrive as we excitedly and anxiously wait to meet him, a sister who says she loves me because I make her laugh and a best, bestest friend who asks me what he can do to make things better and means it every single time he says it.

After I watched the sky and the stars I watched the telly. A silly, but mildly poignant Christmas movie that illustrated the same sentiment as the earlier moon display outside my window. It was fun and distracting and had me singing carols on the sofa at 4am. It was a welcome distraction but I didn't really need it. Who needs the Christmas movie channel when the festive spirit is in the sky day in and day out.