making memories in mullindress

This weekend I'm making memories. Lots of them. I'm snaring everything that moves and stocking it up, packing as much as I can into the soles of my shoes and the salty roots that are snaking below the foundations of Mullindress. Now don't be thinking I'm greedy, these moments aren't all for me, I'm going to share them, and one day my children will pass them out like playing cards, photographs of the past shuffling from their hands to the chosen others, past meeting present and continuing to grow and forage into the ether.

I'm with mum and dad for the weekend, their first stay in the new house at Mullindress. They brought the past in through the tall glass doors, my dad shaking 80 years of his own memories from his shoulders before peeling off his overcoat and unfurling the recollections of his parents too, decades that stretch far into the distance and yet all the while crossed the threshold of my door mat last night.

Readers of this blog will know that my house at Mullindress has been built from hard work, passion and a love of my heritage. Dad was born in the house that guards us from it sentry point a few hundred yards up the single-track road, mum travelled with him to the island for the first time more than 60 years ago, and together they walked the treads of Mullindress's paths and enjoyed the craic within the framework of walls constructed in another time, which are now of the same place.

"The dresser was just there on that back wall" says dad, "we had a right laugh listening to all the old stories" says mum.

Their stories, our stories, forever-more stories. Memories made and shared and blessed by the sun rising from the east.

I'm up, on the writing blog tour

Readers, for this post you'll need to put your outdoor shoes on. We're going on a journey, well, not so much a journey, more of a tour. A 'writing blog tour'. Not everyone likes these little pockets of me, me, me wisdom but I love their charm and character, they are a fascinating insight into writing, or more specifically the writing processes of writers. It's like a really posh nosiness, a kind of 'come dine with me' snoop in the bedroom with drama that's not on the stove but in the fingertips of those who cook words and scenarios rather than dinner.

Don't get me wrong, writers eat too but we make an awful lot of things up so an actual come dine with me would most definitely involve some level of fabrication as part of its preparation and delivery. The pastry wouldn't emerge from the simple process of opening a paper bag of flour. The story would more likely begin in the pocket of a battered leather saddle-bag, on the back of a donkey in a partially ploughed field, on a thinly populated island inaccessible by anything other than a bi-annual boat trip. Or something like that..

Okay, for those of you not sure of what is about to whet your appetite, here's how it works. A writer, who has been nominated by another person of words, answers four questions that are designed to reveal something about the inner sanctum of the writers' writing and writing processes. I was nominated by Paul Cuddihy who is a prolific writer of some four published books and he's working on another. He's also really proactive and is incredibly passionate about his love for writing. His enthusiasm gives me a wee shake when I need it. This is one such shake.

Before I answer the questions on the menu, you can read Paul's very well constructed responses to the blog tour HERE.

And to the questions.

What am I working on?
I'm working on my second novel. The process is one of absolute joy and excitement, the kind of all-encompassing satisfaction that makes sense of why I was put on this earth and reminds me of why I write. But then, as is always the case, such moments of joy are always compounded, sometimes just moments later, with sheer panic, a key-stone cop crisis of confidence that has me physically lunging, hopscotching out my despair in comedy, spindly legged fashion.

Drama folks, is definitely part of the writing deal.

Fortunately I don't panic (other than in the actual moment, which is admittedly, quite panicky) as I understand that uncertainty is a part of the process and always, always the way forward emerges. I guess I'm lucky in that I work in a creative environment and I have learned to trust my instincts and believe in my ability to let the right outcome emerge in it's own time. It aye does and it's lovely when it does.

Anyway, the novel, which I won't say too much about for now, has been as long as 35,000 words and is now a little over 15,000. Much of what I had written was telling me what the story was, now I need to show the reader how the narrative and characters will illustrate it. The scythe has been swung and I'm seeing the beauty beneath.

How does my work differ from others in its genre?
This is actually a difficult question to answer as it's not easy to be truly original when writing fiction as characters are always in some respects familiar to the reader, no matter how unique we as writers try to make them. However, I can say that my work is different from others in this genre because I stay true to the characters, I let them be themselves and dictate their journey. It's their narrative and that in itself must equate to difference, no?

My first novel, The Birds That Never Flew featured the Virgin Mary, not as you might think of her, if indeed you have ever thought about thinking of her, but as a young Glaswegian with a local twang and attitude that doesn't hold back. Her 'language' was in some respects her strength, it allowed her to illustrate Elizabeth's vulnerability (the narrator of the story) with a toughness that might not have been as compelling in another tongue. In my new novel, language, or at least an interpretation of it, is a key component of the relationship between two of the central characters, twin brother and sister Barra and Rathlin. I don't want to say too much about it but sometimes language isn't always about talking and that in itself can make the narrative, and the body of the work, different from anything else that is out there.

Why do I write what I do?
I write what I do because I believe that the stories aren't just important to me, they reflect the narrative journey of the world that we all peel away from and then just as frequently disappear into, our rollercoaster lives bouncing along with drama and pain and tragedy and sometimes even joy. There's a lot of me and the world I understand in my characters and I'm sure my experiences are shared and that my stories are a reflection of what is to some a familiar and often overwhelming world.  I think consuming writing you already know the taste of can be even better than devouring a big bowl of your favourite mashed spuds (or insert similar comfort food fetish)...

I also write the way I do because I am compelled to, my stories are character driven and they don't sit about saying whheeessstt if anyone tries to speak. They holler, I listen and then I do my best to capture what they are saying.

How does my writing process work?
Probably not in the most efficient way. I tend to write a little blind, I know roughly what my hypothesis is (although that seems a little crude) and who my key characters are and then I start to write. I'll have an absolute sense of who my protagonists are and what their story is, but I let them drive the narrative as we go along, giving some of the plot responsibility to them. This process means that characters develop on the road and their outcomes alter or emerge completely differently. For example, I always knew Elizabeth's story in The Birds That Never Flew and I always knew that Mary would impact on her life as she carried out her quest for 'revenge' but the other key characters; Sadie, Paddy, Alan, Larry Spencer, Collette and Laura developed their own characteristics along the way and challenged most of the notions I had of how they would drive the story. It's living a wee bit on the edge, but it's fun when it's working!

I'm doing the same in my new novel, I know absolutely what Rathlin and Barra's story is but I'm writing with five or six additional characters and they are all emerging and adapting and making the conflicting narratives so much more interesting than anything I could have pre-planned. I'm trusting my instincts and the fact that the characters are strong enough to shape the story in a manner which is natural to the people I am writing about. Well, I am at the moment, ask me again at the end of the day and I'll undoubtedly be in crisis...

I write when I can, which isn't as often as I would like it to be, but even when I don't have pen on paper (or fingertips on keyboard) I'm scribbling away beneath my eyelids, absorbing situations that I know will work.

I always, though, start the day creatively, writing a 140 character piece of prose on Twitter that illustrates the world I see beyond my eyes. Before I get out of bed I look out of the window and write about what's in front of me, being as honest and open as I can. It's about seeing what's really there, not what appears to be there at first glance. The world is an astonishing place, if we choose to look at it with our eyes open to possibilities. It's a wee bit twee I guess but it starts my day positively and in my hectic life you can't hope for any more than that!

And that my lovely readers is that.

It's time I went back to my writing and as I do I will pass the blog tour baton on to the amazing Sara Sheridan who will undoubtedly be an intriguing asset to this process.

Sara is a hugely successful author and is the creator of the Mirabelle Bevan Mysteries - a series of 1950s murder mysteries that have been dubbed 'Miss Marple with an edge'. She also writes historical novels based on the real-life adventures of Georgian and Victorian explorers. She is also incredibly hard working so I'm really keen (nosey!) to learn more about how she manages to be both creative and prolific in equal abundance.

She'll be posting her responses on the 12th of May. In the meantime you can find out a bit more about her prolific writing career HERE:

Favourite books and much more with Paul the Hunted!

My friend, the writer Paul Cuddihy, has just released a new book, Read All About It, a non-fiction work to follow his recent historical novel trilogy. He's a busy man. You can read all about him, and his writing processes here. Incidentally, you'll find a link to a post called 'Blog Tour' on his website and you'll also find that I'm next up. I'll be posting my own responses in the next couple of weeks before being followed by the amazing Sara Sheridan.

Anyway, the point of the post! Paul has been conducting a series of podcast interviews where he has been finding out a little bit more about writers - exploring favourite books, not so favourite books and bits and pieces about their writing.

I was kindly asked to take part and this podcast in the result of a very enjoyable afternoon catching up with an old friend who just gets it. I've said it before, writing can be a lonely experience and whilst that is undoubtedly also one of the benefits it's also nice to chat to others who understand the agony and the ecstasy..

So, HERE we go. Enjoy.

Women writers, #WoMentoring is for you. YES YOU.

This isn't ground-breaking news to most, but I'm a woman.

This isn't actually a problem in itself. I love being a woman, I'm comfortable in this role. In fact, I actually think it quite suits me. However, there is an issue. The problem isn't in being a woman itself, it is in the unequal access to opportunities that we often face, as women.

It's 2014, there has been universal suffrage in the UK since 1928, and yet we women often earn less than men and find it difficult to advance in our careers to the same level as men.

Pah! That's pretty unacceptable and it's a much bigger problem than I'm able to tackle at the moment but I do work away at it, hacking away at barriers and hurdling others when I can. I might be just a wee girly thing but I'm the Managing Director of a TV company, I'm a Director of another TV company and some of my programme making involves working in the male dominated world of sport. Yep, a lassie who dares to venture into that realm. A lot of the time it's fine but even still, despite my knowledge and my 20 years experience I still get "could your boss no make it the day hen" disparaging looks at some meetings....

Anyway, like I said, it isn't my intention to blether about problems, this wee post is about solutions.

One thing at a time my exceptional ladies. Something heartening and positive is happening and it's just for you.

I'm also a writer. A novelist. And let's face it, writing is difficult for everyone. It's not easy to snatch 'the big break'. There isn't someone on the street corner dishing out golden publishing contracts to the miraculous few who managed to walk the path without standing on a crack or splitting a pole.

It takes time to find a home for your writing; it also takes a lot of hard work, definitely some luck and even finance to get to the place you need to be. Finance that not everyone has. And, yep, you've guessed it. If you're a woman it can be that bit harder. We get reviewed less, we earn less...blah blah you know the pattern. It's not easy.

However, good things. Thanks to the amazing and unbelievably determined Kerry Hudson there is now a wonderful opportunity for female writers to source free advice and engage in female support in the form of the WoMentoring Project.

The project offers a hand and an ear to women writers who are bustling with talent but just that little bit uncertain, and skint; exceptional women who can't afford to buy advice. We, as in the WoMentoring mentors, are going to offer that advice and any additional support we can to make the road a little bit less stressful. I'm thrilled to be one of the mentors in the project.

Have a look below and you'll find out everything you need to know about the mentoring service. Please read the instructions carefully and if you're going to apply I wish you every success. WoMentoring is like a group hug with a kick in the ass thrown in for good measure. We'll give you love but we'll also make you stronger. Let's do this girls. Like I say, bit by bit. We'll get there...

Here's a link to my profile on the #Womentoring website. If you think I can offer you support and guidance then please apply! Good luck!

Oh, and if you're having a gander at the #Womentoring Twitter page, please follow and stop by to say a big thank you to Kerry Hudson as without her this wouldn't be happening. An exceptional woman indeed.  So, details below and lots more information on the website!


About?

The WoMentoring Project exists to offer free mentoring by professional literary women to up and coming female writers who would otherwise find it difficult to access similar opportunities.

The mission of The WoMentoring Project is simply to introduce successful literary women to other women writers at the beginning of their careers who would benefit from some insight, knowledge and support. The hope is that we’ll see new, talented and diverse female voices emerging as a result of time and guidance received from our mentors.

Each mentor selects their own mentee and it is at their discretion how little or much time they donate. We have no budget, it’s a completely free initiative and every aspect of the project - from the project management to the website design to the PR support - is being volunteered by a collective of female literary professionals. Quite simply this is about exceptional women supporting exceptional women. Welcome to The WoMentoring Project. 

Why do we need it?

Like many great ideas the WoMentoring Project came about via a conversation on Twitter. While discussing the current lack of peer mentoring and the prohibitive expense for many of professional mentoring we asked our followers - largely writers, editors and agents - who would be willing to donate a few hours of their time to another woman just starting out. The response was overwhelming – within two hours we had over sixty volunteer mentors.

The WoMentoring Project is run on an entirely voluntary basis and all of our mentors are professional writers, editors or literary agents. Many of us received unofficial or official mentoring ourselves which helped us get ahead and the emphasis is on ‘paying forward’ some of the support we’ve been given.

In an industry where male writers are still reviewed and paid more than their female counterparts in the UK, we wanted to balance the playing field. Likewise, we want to give female voices that would otherwise find it hard to be heard, a greater opportunity of reaching their true potential.

Applications

In an ideal world we would offer a mentor to every writer who needed and wanted one. Of course this isn't possible so instead we've tried to ensure the application process is accessible while also ensuring that out mentors have enough information with which to make their selection.

Applicant mentees will submit a 1000 word writing sample and a 500 word statement about how they would benefit from free mentoring. All applications will be for a specific mentor and mentees can only apply for one mentor at a time. Selections will be at the mentor's discretion.  

time is but a blizzard of moments, steal them and run!

Time is magical.

It is magic.

It constantly moves; shape-shifting and dancing, moulding new moments from sandy memories, stealing the silence of sleep and blurring the image into something familiar and different in the blink of a fluttering eye. The stars are lit and unlit and dew falls and scatters, chasing new and existing dreams as the dawn glows. We grow, time washing over us, the colours changing, cloudy silence etching features that bend and stretch into the glitter of captured breath.

My children arrived on Rathlin today, kicking their shoes off in the house in Mullindress and pushing their adult frames into the skyline, their steps natural and free, their spirits at home in the island that has sheltered them year on year since their most formative years. Over the years we have changed, yet the bonds have strengthened. Roots stretch deeper and family flow, chasing the new day like a winding stream.

I watched my son and daughter come off the ferry this morning, smiling as I glanced at time, frozen for a moment, welcoming them home. They will be 26 and 28 this year and yet they throw their heads back and laugh in the same way they did 25 years ago, they entertain time and embrace it, savouring the past but standing up to the future.

When I look in their eyes; one child piercing blue and another grey/green, both reflecting the sea and the sky, I see in them both kindness and a determination not just to be alive but to live. As a parent you can't ask for more and for that reason I am eternally blessed. It's that determination that is going to ensure that the child who is sick will push through the boundaries and walk in the same fields, under the same moonlight, where we have bowed to the melodies of time.

It doesn't belong to us but we'll continue to capture it's blizzard of moments, stealing petals of laughter, heads thrown back and throats open, silence resting in the twilight.

the big book move, motherhood & kindness

With my new home at Mullindress all but complete (there are a few little things outstanding, such as the BIG bookcase build) I'm preparing my book collection for the trip over the water to their new home in Ireland. OVER that most definitely is, not in or under, these things are precious to me.

Like many other literature lovers I have thousands of books, their colours booming, their words galloping along my shelves, swallowing dreams and exchanging whispers of literary songs that have excited me and made me laugh and cry in equal measure. But it's not all glory, some of these 'echoey' voices have most definitely not made my wings uncoil and head for the milky light. Yes, there are impenetrable books infiltrating my works of hope and genius but I give them their place. An oddfella or two casing the joint helps to keep the balance. 

Again, like many other readers, my collection begins with my very earliest childhood books, including the gorgeous novel I won on Prize-giving day in primary 3 (for excellence I may add, best wee kid in the whole year they strangely determined) about a selkie. If I didn't love fiction before this moment I was consumed from there on in.  I read this book and then reread it repeatedly for what seemed like forever. Until of course I discovered Enid Blyton...Yep, I agree, enough said.

So, back to the matter in hand. I've decided to move all my fiction and my favourite non-fiction to Rathlin. This isn't an 'a-ha' moment that overwhelmed me when the house was completed, it was always the plan during the build process. Before the shapes even began to emerge on the architect's page in my head I could see the compass that is important to me: the sky, the sea and the mountains of my heritage; and my books.

The view ( I give you sunrise and sunset a little bit further down the page) solidifies and strengthens my past, the breaking dawns that climbed and fell long before my own time, and the books define the person I have become. I'm very much embedded in the land that the house has been created upon but I'm also me, a person who gives a little bit of themselves to people that allow me to, and to my books.

This is why I find it almost impossible to give books away. When I read a story, I become so entwined with it that I always feel that I've left a little bit of myself between the pages. I sometimes reread books and when I do revisit a story I open the cover gently knowing that if I'm bold or harsh that part of who I am, that literary flight perfected in the pages memory, will disappear and sink forever into the quiet waters of dawn.

Yeah, whatever, dramatic nonsense...but it is such a wonderful feeling to finish a book and feel that it has changed your life. Not in a lottery winning way but just by the way it has stirred your emotions and made you feel, something, everything, anything at all!

So as part of this getting ready to pack process I've been revisiting some of the titles that have consumed me. I am going to completely contradict myself here but I cannot believe how many books I had forgotten that I have even read (I know, I've just danced about saying how my side-splitting emotions have been captured within the pages) and then there's the little gems that I have completely forgotten I even wanted to read - even though I undoubtedly rushed out to buy them the minute they were published. Pah, I've got a lot of talking to do with myself.

I'm digressing again but in preparation for the big move I'm trying to organise my booky past and future on Goodreads. Bear with me, this may take some time. Once that's done I'll start to pack and get my little boxes of emotion ready for the journey to Rathlin Island. I'm excited by that. They give me hope, and comfort and inspiration. And Mullindress is a home that thrives on inspiration and that's something I yearn for in abundance right now because as much as I love my books, at the moment they are a distraction. A means to avoid.



Sunrise from Mullindress, Rathlin Island

Sunset on Rathlin Island by Emma McFaul

Kindness, as a noun, is 'the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate': that 'thing' we crave yet frequently forget to give is both possessive and resistant.


Sometimes it enwraps you in a knowing warmth, like in that breath-drawing moment when your child unexpectedly pulls you towards him or her in an all-encompassing embrace, kindness standing firm in broad shoulders that could prevent the sun falling from the sky at dusk.

And yet other times it turns its shoulder and  pushes past you, climbing beyond the silence, emerging as a piercing blue sky peering from damp clouds, its brightness distant and consuming, its hush pulsing in splashes of tiny tears that are swallowed by polished pavements and sent back to the weeping faces of angels.

It's there and then it isn't. A moment passed, its possibilities lingering in the shadow of what might have been.

When you learn, as I recently have, that your child is ill, your flesh and blood and everything that makes you love and live and breathe, the impact pushes you to your knees. It's devastating to know that kindness and goodness is out of your control. The path is in someone or something else's hands. I can't say too much about it for now as it's not my story to share but this world can so be so unkind, its colours quiet and stronger than us, fingers of fire moulding handshakes that join and separate as conversations start, stop, and then move on beyond the whispering birdsong.

There are no words to capture this emotion. There isn't a book that can influence change. We just have to ride with the moments and steer outcomes in whatever way we are able to do so. I love books but sometimes they aren't everything. Being a mother is. I shall endeavour to 'write' my way through this wrong and make my story composure in darkness.

 

tumbleweed, fractured spine, #WoMentoring & talking mince!

The title says it all. Tumbleweed. This blog, not my life. That's as hectic as ever although Mullindress is now an actual creation rather than a figment of my imagination and the freshly constructed house, each inch lovingly placed alongside the next, is now a home complete with things that make me smile and my heart flutter with happiness. A job, no, a passion, well done.

So what now? Well, there's work to be done, not just the work - work of my extremely busy professional life making telly and mobile apps, I mean my writing life. My debut novel is out there in the world and feedback is good so far, the reviews that have appeared have been strong and focussed and seem to have delivered on my objective which was to write a story that people could resonate with, whether by engaging with the characters as people or understanding a little bit about their experiences. Readers so far have emotionally bonded with the narrative and that's really lovely. Although I'm sure there will be those out there that don't or won't because the very thought of reading The Birds That Never Flew will be of no interest to them. And that's just fine too. Although, be warned you are absolutely missing out... : )

I'm writing fiction again, although at the moment I'm tapping away behind my eyelids rather than on paper as the business of life means there aren't enough hours in the day at the moment. I know, I know, being busy is a rubbish excuse, I always SHOUT if you want to write just write, NO EXCUSES but I'm genuinely bereft of moments at the present time, never mind minutes. That doesn't mean that I am not hugely excited about the prospect of pulling those little sparkles from the ethers and building them into sentences that make the page shine and my spine tingle.

Speaking of tingling spines, I actually fractured a vertebrae in mine last week, as you do! Just another wee bit of drama! A painful experience to say the least but not enough, fortunately, to slow me down for long.

The plan then is this. I'm making an amazing doc film at the moment, a strong compelling narrative that requires my writing skills to be at their very best. By the end of March I'll be excitedly returning to my as yet untitled novel. I've only written 30,000 words so far but the story is becoming so strong its characters are speaking to me incessantly. I'll have a hard time getting them to hold their wheesht for the next few weeks. Be still my chattering folks.

I've also joined a fabulous project created by the author Kerry Hudson. When it launches (in April, I think) #WoMentoring will see a plethora of writers give up a few hours of their time to mentor women writers who don't have the opportunity (or finance) to get access to guidance from fellow writers who understand the creative process. I'm excited and privileged to be able to be involved. Writing can be lonely and sharing ideas and passion can be exquisite. I'll write about this process here and I'm very much looking forward to meeting my writer, or indeed writers.

A few years back, following on from a creative writing class with the fabulous and indeed very inspiring novelist Elizabeth Reeder, I joined a writing group drawn from our class after the tutoring had ended. It was a great thing to do. Sometimes we need another voice, even if we don't always agree with it.

Aye, I know, all that snash about there not being enough hours in the day. I don't eat mince so I might as well talk it. However, if I know one thing in life it's this, if you want something done you've just got to do it.  'I can't', 'I'm not able' aren't really options. I know, my fingers are still bristling from everything I said to the contrary up above but I guess I know that I will write, I'll find a way, even if it is only captured moments. They all count.

I set out on 2014 with the goal of completing my new story, my novel, before the year is out. I'm really looking forward to doing that. As well as talking about the #Womentoring project I may well post something from the book soon, just to see what you think...